Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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