You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
