So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Randomize
