Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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