I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
