That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
