Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
