don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
