I just made out with a guy for $7.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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