I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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