I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
