I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We named our party play list daddy issues
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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