i already hear my dad disowning me
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
