dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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