I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Do you remember whose house we're in?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
