Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
