well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
