dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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