Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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