Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
