hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize