i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Holy shit dude........stairs
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