I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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