id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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