Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
