Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
