omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
