I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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