I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
