The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
found the other keg... it's in the tree
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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