Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
