yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
