So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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