We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
