so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
