Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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