Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
