cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I wish you could order shots online.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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