Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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