Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Randomize
