WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
