Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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