how can u be prego again
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
