period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize