when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
