Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
