that's an acceptable place to lick
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Randomize
