I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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