In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
