I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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