I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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