making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She needs sedatives and a leash
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
